are you a stranger despite these multiple years?

"what is there to do? it's a friday night and there's nothing worthwhile in our sights."
beside me sits an empty passenger's seat.
but I still feel you as faintly as I feel the buildings below this overpass,
countless times I have seen their lights and exteriors.
but never have I attempted to step foot in, to claim them as a part of me.
can't I be a part of you? to trace the blueprints
to fix any of the paint chips.
however I am a mere driver, no trained professional at mending.

one day, I will cease to be a transporter of just your body.
one day, I will see what is truly contained inside of the tiny forms below.
to make sense and make this real.
but for now, it is a lowely friday night and my body screams for a bed alone.

Last night, I was "woken" up by my aunt at midnight because I was screaming/whimpering/making strange noises. I say woken with quotations because I thought I was in a dream. Anyway, I had a fever of 102+ and my body was attempting to break the fever, I suppose, because I was violently shaking. The fact that I had a fan on didn't help, but I was shaking too hard to be able to turn it off. It was terrible. But my aunt came in and turned it off and held me until I stopped shaking. Whenever I'm sick, I regret to say, I act like I am around 3 years old. Anyway, by noon I finally had gotten rid of the fever and all.
But my mom is home now.
and I'm not really allowed to be near her because if I get her sick, she might die.
sometimes, it's really hard to know that your mother might not even see you complete your junior year in high school.
I try not to think of it.